Dangerous to Catch Feelings: Ask Budden

Whether they chose to admit or not, every now and then men catch feelings. It could be with the right or wrong woman, but it happens. It’s just a natural part of life. Where things get interesting is how men react to this notion when it does in fact occur.

On the track I Messed Up by Emanny and Joe Budden, both of them tackle one of the many reactions that men may face when confronted with the situation. The song isn’t new, but after listening to it earlier today, I figured it was well worth sharing for those still in the dark about the track.

On the first verse, Emanny starts off the song directly putting us into his state of mind:

“This isn’t what it’s supposed to be,

I went from having fun to having fantasies...”

The singer then goes on to explain the agreement that most men try to set up with their would-be conquests: friendship, no commitment, mutual back scratching not actually involving backs and so forth. That’s how the situation was initially set up, but he is now unable to just leave it at that. The playa rules are now being thrown out the door.

His cell phone is off -- a sign that he may want to be cut off from society while with her, which is, you know, kind of serious -- and he no longer leaves immediately after the business. Instead, he remains in bed and falls asleep even though in certain cases, that is a breach of the Booty Call Guidelines (you can thank me later if that was your first time ever seeing the link).

That’s when it hits our artist and that he utters the words for the first time:

“I messed up.”

Which is usually code for, he’s in love.

By the second verse, things escalate to another level as Emanny tries to convince himself that he does not have feelings for this woman, but he realizes that he is merely lying to himself. He is in too deep and does not foresee any way of getting out.

It’s gotten to the point that he is now bypassing protection during intercourse and enjoying the way things are going although he still wants to get out. This idea that he could get so close to someone is foreign and seemingly counterproductive.

The macho side of men can’t fathom the idea that they could potentially want to spend so much time with one person at the expense of everybody else when they are the ones who usually set the boundaries and made it abundantly clear that no feelings should ever develop under any circumstances.

Hence, Emanny reminds us again:

“I messed up.”

Joe Budden comes in on the third verse and takes the situation to another level.

Most men hate to admit it, but they typically have a bench player that they occasionally see to blow off some steam. The reason she’s characterized as a bench player is because she’s not good enough, pretty enough, sexy enough or emotionally stable enough for dudes to accept being seen in public with -- don’t shoot the messenger on this one -- her.

And this dynamic gets revealed when Joe explains that he has caught feelings for a woman that he would essentially tell his friends is several levels beneath him. In this instance, Jump Off Joey isn’t necessarily making this statement based on her physical appearance, but rather because she has been around the proverbial block on more than one occasion. Budden rehashes the lessons learned from Snoop Dogg’s Doggystyle album as well as Dr. Dre’s Chronic 2001 album but adds in some advice of his own:

“Was taught that you can’t tame a hoe,

But if you should try it and get denied,

You shouldn’t blame a hoe,

Because that’s the only game she know…”

And just like that, it becomes apparent that he is at crossroads and unsure of what decision to make at this juncture. On the one hand, he truly has feelings for her and wants to be with her, but on the other there is the fear that she may not be on the same level emotionally and also that she could be seeing other men, coupled with the fact that he is well aware that he would become the laughingstock of his friends should this news break out.

Although the song ends without any resolution in sight, the New Jersey rapper still leaves us with a glimpse of where he is leaning as he concludes by saying:

“Honestly, she might be the best mistake I ever made.”

One Blood, Two...

Those that know me best, know that I rarely say or care to share things; preferring instead to be mysterious. Whether guilty or innocent, I prefer to allow others to draw their own conclusions and ride with it, never committing one way or another. But today is different. Every now and then, some things need to be said and need to be read/heard. In the memory of one Christopher Wallace, I got a story to tell…

This fact may not be obvious to all, but to me the expression “blood is thicker than water” holds a lot of weight. And thus, I try as much as possible to support those within my family that are in need even if they never verbalize what it is that is missing. In the same breath, I never once expected that courtesy to be extended in return to me and yet it has in so many ways.

I have faced two major tragedies in my life, and for whatever reason, it only dawned on me this week that the two people that helped me through them were essentially one and the same, but not exactly.

One Blood

At the tender age of 17, my world came crashing down as I found out that what I was led to believe to be a wonderful life was the exact opposite. That chapter of my life offered betrayal, lies and a story with so many holes that at the time CSI: Miami would have helped me a great deal to figure things out.

As I contemplated where my existence stood and what to make of it, my cousin Superstar (his nickname) came to my rescue and told me: “everything will be fine”.

Although it was very tough to take his words at face value at the time, I believed him. He had always taken care of me and never allowed me to not be happy. And so he took me under his wing, cared for me and took me from the depths of the abyss and brought me back to surface level. No longer was I a martyr, instead I was back to living my life and feeling great about who I was because he stood there through the roughest of times and took care of me. To this day, he still has no idea how terrible a shape I was in.

It’s funny, because I spent last weekend watching The Godfather trilogy and saw a few parallels. For a big stretch, I felt like an outsider and truly I was. My very own godfather accepted responsibility for me during my adolescent years and brought me into his family much like Vito adopted Tom Hagen.

Although there were times in which I doubted what my place was, Superstar always made me feel like he was my brother. And thus, when the Earth seemingly blew up for me during my late teenage years, he helped me pick up the pieces and move along. You could say he was Michael Corleone to me given my reverence towards him and the place he occupies in my heart.

I may have never told you before, but thank you.

Two Blood

On March 8^th, 2009, the second biggest tragedy in my life occurred. This time I was older, wiser and therefore better equipped to deal with situations of a huge magnitude but I still needed some type of support. It came in the form of my cousin Philly – who happens to be Superstar’s brother – who never blinked or wavered when he heard what had happened to me.

Much like his brother had done for me a decade earlier, he came to help me out and handle me as I got back on my feet. He and I have already discussed this matter and have had countless other conversations about what we mean to each other but it’s still worth mentioning that at a times when most thought I was unbreakable, he knew otherwise and helped me get back to the point where I once again felt invincible.

Philly is funny in the sense that, much like Santino Corleone, he is extremely passionate, hot tempered and not above inflicting physical pain to people; but he is also a very much grounded person that many look to as the anchor in their lives.

As we celebrate the memory of one of the greatest artists to have ever picked up a microphone, let’s also take the time to remember that there are still people in our lives today who have a profound impact on who we are and who we will become.

Live and let live.

Love and let love…

If You Leave Him, He May Never Come Back

A few days ago, one of my friends confided in me that he had mixed emotions about his former flame. He was confronted with the idea of perhaps getting back together with her, but felt as though there was just too much baggage standing in the way of making such a thing a reality.

And thus, he asked me for my take on the situation but with a twist: he believes in me and trusts my judgment; hence he wanted me to write something about his dilemma and the issues at hand.  He theorized that seeing it in print would make it more real and consequently more comprehensive from his viewpoint.

My friend, let’s call him Jake (obviously after Jake Hoyt in Training Day), was with this woman for several years and admittedly made some mistakes with her. Constantly hitting clubs and strip joints, girls calling over their place and mismanaged finances to name a few; but she forgave him because she loved him. Truthfully, I believe Jake loved his then better half, but he was just too dumb (sorry dude) and arrogant to realize that she was at times too good for him.

But then something funny happened: she realized it herself and left him, but did so because some new dude was in her ear telling her everything she needed to hear. The years she had spent with Jake had made her insecure and in dire need of attention and affection. Hence, when Alonzo (another riveting Training Day reference) showed up and swept her off her feet with his smooth and yet calculated words as well as his manipulative skills to make Jake’s flaws seem bigger than they were, she left Jake for Alonzo.

I cannot judge her actions since I do not know how bad Selina (Batman reference -- Catwoman) felt in the relationship. However, one thing is certain: Selina made a huge mistake and she knows it.

You see, Selina had to learn the hard way that Alonzo was a man who did not believe in monogamy or sharing the truth with his partner(s). Consequently, Selina found herself heartbroken by a man that she initially thought would be the new love of her life as well as her soul mate. But in the end, Zo was nothing more than a man looking for a challenge and a good time; something he obtained at the expense of breaking up Jake and Selina (obviously through the cooperation of both).

Jake’s dilemma now is that Selina wants him back.

It’s been a couple of years since they have been apart but he can’t go back to her. He doesn’t think he could ever trust her and more importantly, it seems as though his heart won’t allow for her to take up any space in it. The most important thing is that regardless of what he decides, he must not let pride dictate his path. I do not get to make a decision for him, but my opinion was solicited nonetheless and therefore here it is: love is both wonderful and hurtful, but if you find yourself becoming someone you are not because of your love interest, it’s not worth it.

In other words, if you cannot see yourself investing into someone without trusting them completely, it may not be worth it. There will always be questions, observations and shaky coincidences that you will rationalize in your mind as being hard evidence that your partner is less than honest with you even though that may not be the case.

I cannot provide any statistical data on this, but it seems as though women have an easier time getting back with a former partner than men do. From where I sit, a return with an old lover is practically impossible given my unwillingness to cultivate relationships with people who no longer have an active role in my life. Indeed, leave me and I’m gone. Forever checked out. But my point of view is far from being gospel or fact. Instead, each must figure out what matters to them and understand what it is they can tolerate.

The lyrics to Usher’s Burn and Justin Timberlake’s Cry me a River are especially poignant for me, but it’s not about me…

It’s about Jake…

Justice League: Doom

DC Comics has given comic book geeks such as me the royal hook up by giving us a new movie/cartoon titled Justice League: Doom. Our heroes come together to ensure that the human race does not become enslaved as a result of Vandal Savage’s diabolical plan. Indeed, Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, The Flash, Martian Manhunter and Cyborg bring their forces together in an attempt to save the world. Except it comes with a twist.

Savage has recruited enemies of the heroes to facilitate a plan to bring the League down to its knees. And the Legion of the Doom (as they call themselves) actually succeeds thanks in large part to an unlikely ally: Batman.

Savage gets Mirror Master to infiltrate the Batcave by hiding out in the Batmobile and he is able to plug into the Batcomputer and download information detailing the weaknesses of each and every Justice League member.

And with that, the League is brought down to their weakest point and seems all but defeated until Batman figures out what occurred and rescues his allies and explains to them what happened and how.

The remainder of the adventure centers on the League’s ability to cooperate and save the world from Savage, but also their willingness and ability to trust a man that they feel betrayed them. The idea that Batman had set up plans to neutralize people that he considers to be friends invariably creates friction and somewhat of a state of paranoia vis-à-vis the League and Bruce Wayne.

Batman defiantly offers a compelling argument for his actions and leaves most of the League completely dumbfounded.

It’s intriguing that Doom took this direction given that for the most part Batman has predominantly been cast as somewhat of a team player with a touch of defiance in other installments of Justice League cartoons. But Doom captures the true nature of the relationships between each and every member.

Indeed, Superman is the proverbial boy scout that can interact and lead every one of his allies whereas Wonder Woman is the combative spirit of the group, always looking for a fight and rarely looking to reason with others. The Flash and Green Lantern enjoy a relationship in which they are playful with each other but never over the top. Cyborg on the other hand is the new guy that just wishes to fit in; while the Dark Knight is a solo act whose intellect is practically unmatched in the group, which consequently usually leads to him barking out the orders and getting the team organized.

Make no mistake though, Batman is not a team player.

The Justice League works well in concert but Doom illustrates that at times you can only go so far when the point man always thinks he knows best.

In the end, the League has to find a way to put their differences aside with the fate of the world hanging in the balance. It may seem like a cheesy cliché, but the truth is that even heroes have their owns faults and they have to work through them to save the day.

As important as the end result is, appreciating the journey is paramount as it pertains to getting to the finish line.

Scattered Thoughts

Everything looks better with a Lego Death Star.

With the NBA officially in an apocalyptic tailspin, I decided to take a break from my respective gigs at Warriors World and Forum Blue & Gold to make my triumphant return over here at the SBG.

Now, some people predicted that with the absence of the National Basketball Association, that I would turn over my attention to Major League Baseball, the National Hockey League or perhaps even NCAA Football, but that’s just not me; instead, I stuck to my guns and focused even harder on the things that I already liked and wanted to question. In that sense, I’m like a pimp trying to rededicate himself to his craft by finding new ways to apply powder to my hands.

Welcome back ladies and gentlemen to my Scattered Thoughts.

ENTERTAINMENT

Last week, Bill Simmons wrote a brilliant career arc piece on Eddie Murphy that made me quite nostalgic. After reading the article, I came down to one big conclusion: no artists/entertainers have influenced me more than Michael Jackson and Eddie Murphy; and really it’s not close. Here’s the breakdown…

Michael Jackson

One of Michael Jackson’s greatest accomplishments was his ability to transcend race. Indeed, fans worldwide did not view him as a black entertainer, but rather as a man of music that just seemed to appeal to all. But Jacko did not just render his fans color-blind, he actually turned all of us into cult followers.

Sounds a bit harsh or perhaps too strong right? Well consider this: how many artists today could get away with routinely grabbing their crotch and yelling at a lady in a music video on the street and look completely cool doing it? Sounds weird and creepy, and yet that’s the premise for the video of The Way You Make Me Feel.

Once Michael did something, it automatically became socially acceptable. Tight pants that barely reached the ankles, shiny white socks, crotch-grabbing, dancing on the tip of your toes and screaming like a girl were all tolerated in the spirit of emulating Michael Jackson. But the one reason MJ shaped my childhood: he made me dance.

The King of Pop was a legend in his own right, and he turned a shy young boy into a kid willing to put himself out there to sing and dance regardless of whom was watching. Michael made me and a multitude of other kids around the world jump on their beds and dance to Smooth Criminal and attempt to recite lyrics that no one could seemingly understand. It’s one thing to do that to people in various cities, but to have that kind of impact across the globe? Unreal.

And here’s how I know there will never be another Michael Jackson: when MJ would release a new video (especially in the 1980s); the world would literally stop to sit down and watch it. You didn’t want to be the one person who missed its first airing and not be able to discuss it with friends the next day. Name me one artist today that could do that.

Just to put things into perspective, here are my five favorite music videos of all time:

1.     Thriller

2.     The Way You Make Me Feel

3.     Beat It

4.     Smooth Criminal

5.     Billie Jean

Yup, my top five is essentially a Michael Jackson playlist.

Eddie Murphy

My favorite movie of all time is Coming to America (in French mind you) and Beverly Hills Cop and 48 Hours easily make my top 20 favorite movies list. But Eddie Murphy converted me into a fan for life with his classic stand up acts in Delirious and Raw.

Times might be different today but a lot of the jokes are still funny to this day no matter how many times I have watched the performances. For my money, Mr. F*ck You Man is the funniest man to have ever been involved in showbiz.

Eddie’s genius as a comedian stems from some of his multiple skills…

·      Voices: he could mimic the voice of just about any celebrity ranging from Mr. T. to Elvis Presley and even capture their mannerisms and act like these said celebs. Watch Eddie Murphy act like Bill Cosby by clicking here.

·      Storytelling: Those of you familiar with Charlie Murphy’s Hollywood stories on the Chappelle Show would probably be amazed at Eddie Murphy’s ability to recount stories in a comical way regardless of whether they were fictional or not. Have a look at Eddie Murphy act out a story on an Italian man after seeing the movie Rocky over here.

·      Real life situations: A lot of times, being a comedian means taking every day situations and presenting them in a different perspective that makes people laugh; and Eddie Murphy was able to do so routinely. Have a look at how Eddie portrays unfaithful women here.

And after seeing Eddie Murphy perform on stage and in his movies, it was clear to me that he would be remembered for a long time and that he would probably leave his mark on many much like Richard Pryor did before him.

TELEVISION & MOVIES

The Three Musketeers

I have yet to speak with someone who has actually seen the movie; but after following their story from a very young age, it only made sense for me to go see the movie. For those unfamiliar with the storyline, it occurs during the 1600s in France with Louis XIII serving as the nation’s king. His three best “soldiers” go by the name of the musketeers. These men are master swordsmen and could also be viewed in a way as the predecessors of Jason Bourne. All three musketeers come with different skill sets:

·      Athos: Although it’s rarely stated explicitly, he is the leader of the group. He is a master strategist as well as the one person willing to discuss matters diplomatically before engaging into battle because he always has his eyes on the big picture.

·      Aramis: He is the stealth agent that often does the scouting of the terrain and of the enemies in order to gain a tactical advantage. He is also highly religious to the point that he prays for his enemies.

·      Porthos: He is the brute of the group. He is physically imposing and the strongest one of the trio. He prefers to deal with opponents by way of hand-to-hand combat in order to demonstrate his strength and inflict punishment as opposed to simply finishing off his enemies in a quicker manner by way of his sword.

The trio is inseparable and also seemingly impossible to defeat. Thus, they take their orders from the king and do their best to preserve the honor of the country in the name of their leader. Complicating matters though is the Cardinal Richelieu who is Louis XIII’s second in command; but who thirsts for the king’s power. Consequently, he is constantly concocting plots to bring the king to his knees unbeknownst to the leader of the kingdom.

The musketeers are well aware of Richelieu’s plans but without concrete proof they are unable to explain to the king that his minister is in fact a traitor.

Adding to the intrigue is a teenager by the name of D’Artagnan who leaves the area of Gascogne to make it to Paris with the hope of joining the ranks of the musketeers. D’Artagnan is brash, overconfident and at times cocky; but he believes in his skills and with good reason. He has spent his entire life training to be one of the king’s fighters, and only wants a chance to prove his worth.

Upon arriving in Paris, he realizes that his journey will be a difficult one but ultimately is able to demonstrate his excellent fighting skills as well as his impressive swordsmanship as he tries to infiltrate the ranks of the musketeers.

In a nutshell, that is the story of The Three Musketeers, but I would strongly recommend watching the movie to see the multiple twists and turns that come along with defending a kingdom that more often than not does not realize it is under attack. The musketeers are stealth agents that protect their nation at all costs and in a very entertaining manner. The movie captured the true essence of the story all the while making it the script a little Hollywood-friendly, but without compromising key points of the adventure.

Allen Gregory

I initially believed that this new cartoon/sitcom on FOX was essentially a remake of Family Guy, but that would be selling the show short. Allen Gregory (voice by Jonah Hill) is a youngster (I would venture and say he is around eight years old) in the same mold of Stewie Griffin but much older though. He wears suits and speaks with great intelligence, often belittling the people around him.

What makes the show so interesting is the things that Allen Gregory desires to have but cannot. For instance, he wishes the school bully would befriend him but he just cannot seem to get that to happen. Also, our star has his sights set on the school principal that is well within her 50s but she declines his every advance.

These situations by themselves are not all that interesting; but when you factor in that Allen Gregory carries the last name DeLongpre (which is synonymous with power and wealth on the television show) and that his father wants things to go his son’s way; well that brings a new level of intrigue to the show.

For instance, after finding out that his son was getting bullied at school, Allen Gregory’s father (he also happens o be openly gay) demanded that the school dance changes its format and instead require boys to ask boys to the dance, and for girls to do the same. The rationale is to put all the chances on his son’s side to in fact communicate with the school bully and befriend him; a strategy that obviously backfires.

I recommend watching the show for comedy’s sake. It’s a different kind of television cartoon-sitcom that’s good for a few laughs and could potentially keep you coming back for more.

Two and a Half Men

With Charlie Sheen gone and Ashton Kutcher now fully integrated in the show; we can finally answer the one question that everyone has been asking: can the show survive without Sheen? And the answer is no.

Kutcher plays the role of Walden Schmidt who is a billionaire idiot trying to reclaim the love of his wife who has left him. During his grieving (his wife wants nothing to do with him at this point), he befriends Alan Harper and buys Charlie’s house. Mind you, Schmidt is an emotional wreck and Alan is there to see him through tough times and help him bounce back onto his feet.

The scene becomes all too familiar when Walden goes to a bar with Alan and picks up women that he promptly brings back to his house for some fun time while Alan realizes once again he is left out on the sidelines.

There are two major problems with the new direction of the show:

I. We have been conditioned to expect the man of the house to be a middle-aged drunk womanizer who just cannot wait to get rid of his mooching brother. Instead we are now treated to a handsome young man who manages to almost sleep with women by accident and that actually loves having the moocher around.

II. Make no mistake, Walden Schmidt is the star of the show but Alan Harper is slowly becoming the central figure on Two and a Half Men. More often than not, we are following him throughout his life problems and waiting for Walden to step in and save the day (whether he does or not). Consequently, every scene with Kutcher almost seems secondary; as though he is there to just fill up the missing time left in the episode with his goofy movements and words.

Watching the show now is the equivalent of watching the Los Angeles Lakers with Manu Ginobili starting at shooting guard instead of Kobe Bryant. Indeed, the replacement has talent in his own right and can perform adequately but the team was not initially built around him and thus the team just is not as good.

Sous le Signe des Mousquetaires

When I was younger, my cousin and I would religiously watch this show. It’s a Japanese television series about the Three Musketeers. The show is in French but I would venture and say that it can be found in English as well. Mind you, if you are trying to learn or teach French to your kids, this is the perfect opportunity to do so.

Much like the movie the The Three Musketeers, the television show occurs during the 1600s with Louis XIII serving as the king of France. He is married to Anne of Austria and has the Cardinal of Richelieu to serve as his minister.

Although the series does not necessarily rehash actual historical events, it does nonetheless help its viewers get a greater appreciation of the history of France and England by presenting actual people that affected the course of history of these respective countries.

The show may be for children, but the storylines will captivate adults as well and get them to want to follow on. Thus, when my friend Karim offered to hook me up with the whole series; I gladly accepted.

I have been watching the episodes for the past few weeks and it resulted in getting me a little more intrigued in the history of France (especially in the identity of the Man in the Iron Mask) and also in improving my French. Sous le Signes des Mousquetaires uses an old style of French that is understandable but that will nonetheless improve your vocabulary guaranteed or your money back.

ShynePhone Rotation

·      Legendary by Royce Da 5’9

·      Sucka for Love by DMX

·      Can’t Get Enough by J. Cole ft Trey Songz

·      You the Boss by Rick Ross ft. Nicki Minaj

·      The Illest by Slaughterhouse

·      Why Would I by Joe Budden

·      2011 BET Cypher by Eminem ft Yelawolf & Slaughterhouse

·      The Real Her by Drake ft. Lil’ Wayne & Andre 3000

·      I’ll Do Anything by Ginuwine

·      Same Ol’ G by Ginuwine

·      Ex-Girlfriend by R. Kelly

·      Sure Thing by Miguel

·      Shit God Damn by Chris Brown ft. Big Sean

·      Damien by DMX

·      Buckingham Palace by Canibus

Questions or comments? Feel free to leave them in the comments section or you can contact me by email at Shyne@SBGorillas.com.You can also find me on Twitter with the handle name @ShyneIV.

Scattered Thoughts

Scattered Joker Cards.

With Peyton Manning on the shelf for a fairly lengthy period of time, I just could not bring myself to write about the NFL. It was just far too depressing to watch my beloved Colts play in what looked like a WWE handicap match against the WWE World Heavyweight Champion and UFC champion all the while writing about it.

But at some point, something has to give right? Instead of making it a full-fledged NFL post, I instead decided to give the best of both worlds and hook you guys up with my Scattered Thoughts. But first, a quick public service announcement…..

Competitiveness is a funny thing; people try to outshine one another in every aspect of life but it never dawned on me that such would be the case in writing. To my surprise, writing isn’t unlike rapping and sports; in that once the established stars feel threatened, they are not above taking shots at you to knock you down a few pegs.

I guess it just never occurred to me that I might matter to some guys at the top….on with the Thoughts.

SPORTS: NFL

32. Indianapolis Colts (0-4)

Let’s get them out of the way right?

31. St. Louis Rams (0-4)

So much for everyone picking Sam Bradford and the Rams to win the NFC West. And to think, a few weeks back I was in Vegas and could have hopped on that bandwagon but thought better of it.

30.  Miami Dolphins (0-4)

I’m surprised LeBron James hasn’t been blamed yet for the Dolphins record. I guess fans will probably wait for the last quarter of the season….

29. Minnesota Vikings (0-4)

It seems the Vikes were in fact better off with Favre at the helm huh?

28. Kansas City (1-3)

How long before Todd Haley ends up in a fight with one of his players? There’s just something about him that seems to rub players the wrong way and we keep seeing it on Sundays. Mind you, ever notice how he only seems to chew out offensive players and not defensive ones? Wisely picking his battles….

27. Jacksonville (1-3)

These guys are still in the NFL? Then again I should talk, they have a better record than Indianapolis.

26. Arizona Cardinals (1-3)

For everyone saying that Philadelphia should have considered keeping Kolb in the city of brotherly love, the Eagles and Cardinals both have the same record. So would he really have helped?

25. Seattle Seahawks (1-3)

You mean to tell me Seattle let Hasselbeck walk away so they could sign Tarvaris Jackson?

24. Denver Broncos (1-3)

Things not looking so good in Denver.

23. Cincinnati Bengals (1-3)

The first win in the Andy Dalton era ladies and gentlemen!

22. Carolina Panthers (1-3)

The Panthers might have a losing record, but other than the Eagles, they might just be the most exciting losing team in the league.

21. Philadelphia Eagles (1-3)

I’m not sure why the media keeps making a big deal out of every Philly loss. They are the best one-win team in the NFL, which has to count for something right? Dreat Team indeed…

20. Cleveland Browns (2-2)

Peyton Hillis annoys me. Know why? Instead of the Madden Curse leading to him missing time due to injury, my PS3 keeps freezing every time I reach Week 13 in my Madden season. So yes, even in Madden, my Colts can’t make the playoffs.

19. Atlanta Falcons (2-2)

We expected more out of this team but it seems that they just might be overrated.

18. Dallas Cowboys (2-2)

17. NY Jets (2-2)

Romo played brilliantly early against Detroit and then essentially gave the game away to the Lions. Mark Sanchez on the other hand felt as though Romo was getting too much attention and thus pitched a stinker against the Ravens.

16. Oakland Raiders (2-2)

Who knew Asomugha would join a stacked team and watch his former team (Oakland) win more games through four weeks than his new one?

15. Chicago Bears (2-2)

Devin Hester now stands alone in history with 11 punt returns for touchdowns. He is bar none the best punt returner the league has ever seen.

14. Pittsburgh Steelers (2-2)

If Big Ben is going to finish up this season, he is going to have to start to get rid of the ball quicker with that banged up offensive line. But the real issue in Pittsburgh, what’s up with the defense?

10. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (3-1)

Could they win the South?

12. San Diego Chargers (3-1)

The Chargers under Norv Turner have historically underperformed early in the season. Given their current record now, one wonders if they will finish with perhaps one of the top seeds in the AFC given their ability to usually finish up the regular season strong.

11. San Francisco 49ers (3-1)

After a big win in Philadelphia, perhaps we should start paying more attention to the Niners.

10. Washington Redskins (3-1)

The question might have once seemed ridiculous, but now one can only wonder: Tony Romo or Rex Grossman?

9. Tennessee Titans (3-1)

Chris Johnson is officially back and you have to figure that the Houston Texans are at least somewhat concerned that they will have someone to fight for the division crown.

8. NY Giants (3-1)

Leading the toughest division in football right now.

7. Houston Texans (3-1)

How does Houston handle prosperity after being mediocre for so many years?

6. New England Patriots (3-1)

Oddly enough, the Patriots win big on the road and still fly under the radar because of the Lions and Packers. Just remember, in recent years New England has not properly handled playing with the target on their backs. With them now not garnering much publicity, I’d keep an eye out on them.

5. Buffalo Bills (3-1)

Just a bump in the road in Cincinnati or a sign of things to come?

4. New Orleans Saints (3-1)

Their defense needs to play better but that offense can sure cover up a lot of mistakes.

3. Baltimore Ravens (3-1)

The Ravens defense did one hell of a job against the Jets and then their ground game showed up late in the third quarter to help them put away the game.

2. Detroit Lions (4-0)

MEGATRON!!! *Transformer sound and jet flies away*

1. Green Bay Packers (4-0)

Still rocking the belt.

RELATIONSHIPS: DATING

The Ex

Last week, one of my friends mentioned to me that he had started talking to this lady and that she seemed to be a keeper at first glance. She was pretty and appealed to him physically. The one issue he faced with her is that she seemed to be stuck on her ex-boyfriend.

Granted, these things happen fairly frequently and thus at times it comes down to simply toughing it out for a few days or possibly a few weeks while the woman in question gets it out of her system (if you are willing to wait). But then he mentioned how he had complimented her at one point and she replied: “I know right? Why wouldn’t he want to be with me?!?”

And that’s when I told him, GET OUT! It’s one thing to be hung up on your former lover and having trouble moving on, but the impression I got from my friend was this lady wasn’t even trying to move on. Instead, she was trying to understand why this man had turned her away and could not get past that. And thus my advice was that he cut his losses now before he become involved in a love triangle.

The Changes

A phenomenon seems to have taken over the world. Women now seem to expect men to basically change the core of whom they are for the sake of pleasing them. It would seem that specifically women who have recently had their hearts broken by their one-time lover have made the executive decision that there are things they will not stand by; which is fine, those are called standards. However, where things get complicated is that when these women meet a man that seems to fit most of their criteria, they take a particular interest in him but set out to change some of the characteristics they do not like.

For instance, if he is not a hugger, she will force him to hug, if he does not like to purchase flowers or go to the movies; well his refusal to acquiesce to such demands will become a matter of national security with the lady in question.

Remember when you were an early teenager and would watch early Saturday morning teen shows and they would always preach to remain yourself and to never try to be someone else because people should appreciate you for who you are? That message seems to have been lost on certain women when dealing with men. Approach with caution!

MUSIC

Hip Hop Power Rankings: Top 3

3. Joe Budden

Jump Off Joey has no shame. He puts his feelings as well as his life on full display and has us live his life through his songs. In his new mixtape Mood Muzik 4.5, Joe touches on issues like the loss of Aspen (his unborn daughter) and finally getting closure from breaking things off with his most recent girlfriend as he raps about their fights and her suspect behavior with a known NFL running back on No Ordinary Love Pt. 3.

Joey just keeps doing his thing and we are all better for it.

2. J. Cole

Cole came to Montreal last month and literally killed the show by performing hit tracks such as Who Dat, Can’t Get Enough and Farewell to name a few. The Carolina rapper had me reeled in then and there but then he took it even further and dropped his LP The Sideline Story.

The album is titled in a way for you to think that it’s everything that is on the side in his life but it’s actually the opposite. Cole’s album is the window with open blinds into his life.

The Jay-Z protégé raps about the path he had to take to reach his goals in A Dolla and a Dream III, the quintessential rags to riches story that focuses on his being poor.

No Hip Hop album would could termed as such without a radio friendly single in which the rapper boasts about his skills in the bedroom and The Sideline Story is no exception, as the Carolina rapper spits game on Can’t Get Enough with Trey Songz on the hook. Here’s a quick verse:

“Won’t brag but the boy been blessed man,

Let you play with the stick

Ovechkin…”

But ultimately, the album hits hard and hits home because Cole shares with us a piece of who he is and why he is the man he is today. He gets deep and introspective on Lost Ones when he acts out a conversation he had with a girlfriend when he was younger and faced with the prospect of raising a child with her in poverty. Essentially they are discussing the possibility of an abortion and Cole tells her (and us) that he isn’t too proud to say that he cries sometimes about it; it may not seem like much, but he sends a powerful message in the song.

And finally on Breakdown, the rap star explains the sadness he felt when his father left him when he was younger and how his mother and brother had to take care of one another. There may be some resentment on his part, but Cole squashes the notion when he states that he just spent some time by his father for the first time in a long time and that all of it rendered him extremely emotional.

There are more tracks to listen to and appreciate on The Sideline Story and I would invite you to do so. Between the production, the lyrics and the radio friendly songs, this album is clearly a must-have for Hip Hop enthusiasts.

1. Eminem

The beats, the lyrics, the words, the word play and the content that Marshall handles in his songs just elevate him above everybody else in the game.

ShynePhone Rotation

DJ Khaled ft. Drake, Rick Ross & Lil’ Wayne – I’m On One

Joe Budden – No Ordinary Love pt. 3

Royce Da 5’9 - Vagina

Jay-Z & Kanye West – Otis

Crooked I – Fast Car Freestyle

DMX – Sucka for Love

R. Kelly – Ex-girlfriend

Sean Kingston ft Nicki Minaj – Letting Go (Dutty Love)

Gyptian – Beautiful Lady

Rock City ft. Gyptian – Hold Yuh Remix

Wayne Marshall ft. Mavado – My Heart

Mohombi ft. Nicki Minaj & Gyptian – Hold Yuh Remix

Royce Da 5’9 ft. Travis Barker – Legendary

Drake – Trust Issues

Black Rob – Get Involved

Royce Da 5’9 – Second Place

YC – Racks

Lil’ Wayne ft. Drake & Rick Ross – She Will

Drake – Club Paradise

Questions or comments? Feel free to leave them in the comments section or you can contact me by email at Shyne@SBGorillas.com.You can also find me on Twitter with the handle name @ShyneIV.

Struggles of Women to Hit on Men

Melinda hits on Eric in an episode of Entourage.

Last week, I stumbled across the August 2011 issue of the magazine Cosmopolitan. Never one to shy away from reading their content (some of articles are often hilarious from a male perspective), I gave it a quick view and landed in the Q&A section. Those are often the best places to get insight on people given the fact that it is an open forum to ask questions in complete anonymity.

After going through a few of the interrogations and answers and chuckling a bit, I landed on a question that piqued my curiosity. One lady sent this in:

“Recently I saw a superhot guy at a baseball game, but I was too shy to ask for his number. What’s the best way to pick up a guy without being too obvious?”

The answer did not matter as much as the question as far as I was concerned. In what was purely coincidental, this was the second time in the last week that I had heard a woman express discomfort about the idea about approaching a man. And considering that this could be an issue that is far more serious than I ever thought, it dawned on me that perhaps I should provide some advice on this topic and even give women the proverbial playbook.

Mind you, before engaging the shy women of this world, let’s give it up for the dudes. Seriously, it is far more difficult for men to approach women and obtain a positive reaction from them. To be fair, a lot of the guys out there often have no clue what they are doing and end up being disrespectful; but that’s not who we’re talking about here. Some guys are often courteous, polite and smooth even; but still get shot down much like Sarah Marshall did to Peter Bretter in Forgetting Sarah Marshall (yes I am well aware that Peter and Sarah had been dating but the example still holds, thank you).

In addition, no matter how handsome the man might be, there is still the chance that the lady he is approaching might be in state of mind that is conducive to rejection. Indeed, studies show that women who are on their period typically favor a man with a look that seems a bit more primitive. Thus, a fellow with a scruffy beard and ripped jeans might appeal to her more during that time of the month.

Furthermore, even if the man is successful, there is still the possibility that she has little to no interest in him; and that she is merely a gold digger looking to get things purchased for her by some unsuspecting sucker.

Things are far more simpler for women believe it or not. If a lady chooses to approach a man and is somewhat nervous about the whole thing, here is the most important piece of information to remember: for the most part, women own men. True story.

Granted, a lot of times, the ability to put the moves on someone comes down to circumstances. For instance, if an attractive woman decides to attract a handsome man, there is a possibility (albeit a small one) that he might reject her. However, it takes a unique set of circumstances for such a thing to occur. Have a look at the list:

·      He is with his kid(s)

·      He is already attached (wife, girlfriend, blowup doll, cat or dog)

·      No attraction whatsoever

·      Homosexual

·      He has company with him that you might not have spotted

·      Criminal on his way to committing a felony.

That about sums it up. Long story short, the odds are in favor of women emerging successfully from flirting with men.

Mind you, I can already hear women wondering: “we get your point dude, but there’s one problem with what you just said; I know I’m attractive but that might not mean he thinks I am”.

And for the most part, this article is meant to reach out to the women who employ that train of thought. Indeed, people who are confident in their look and abilities generally do not have a problem with approaching a potential conquest whereas those who have even the tiniest amount of doubt within themselves often opt to sit on the sidelines.

If this is your dilemma, allow me to walk you through it. It can be nerve wracking for a person to try and make small talk with a complete stranger with the intent of progressively getting to know them. Thus, it’s important that if you do chose to approach a man under these sets of circumstances that you give the illusion of having a seamless conversation.

It’s not necessary to have majored in magic in some fancy college to pull this off; but rather to simply do things in a way that sparks conversation. For example, if you see him out in the open, you can give him the “hey I’m interested look and smile” but then again men do not always do well with subtlety and thus you might have to elevate your game a bit. That would be the perfect opportunity to walk to him and ask for directions, say he looks familiar or that you want his opinion on the dress you are wearing because you have gotten a lot of negative feedback from some people about it.

Heck, you can even come up with some creative ways such as stating that you are conducting a survey on how men and women differ in their opinion of what they think is sexy. If he responds positively (by this I mean: he engages you into conversation, smiles and/or seems genuinely interested in your statement) then the conversation should dictate itself and you should be able to obtain his contact info (dirty little secret: most men want the attention and are not opposed to reeling you in even if they do not think you’re hot). By the way in this day and age, even if you are shy about asking for his phone number, you have a multitude of tools available to you to get in touch with him that you can casually ask:

·      MySpace

·      Facebook

·      Twitter

·      Skype

·      Yahoo Messenger

·      MSN

·      Email

·      Etc…

Thus, in the event that you are unable to close the deal and get some type of contact information, the blame falls square on your shoulders.

Before sending you off into action, there are certain situations that should be avoided at all costs when approaching men:

·      Do not approach him if he is with a group of friends: men tend to act different are their boys and can do or say things merely to impress them, and well at times that could result in him disrespecting a lady.

·      Know when to cut your losses: if he looks like he is waiting for someone, refrain from approaching him. On the off chance that you decide to still approach him, if he fails to display even the slightest interest, get out of there quickly because his wife, girlfriend or date could potentially show up and make a scene when she realizes you are practically humping his leg for attention.

·      Never be someone else: who you are should be enough to get a relatively decent guy to take interest in you at first glance. If that is not sufficient, chances are you probably would not click. Thus, it’s important not to attempt to mimic the techniques of some of your friends unless they just naturally come to you.

And with that ladies, I’m sending you out into the wild to get acclimated with new men. Good luck (although you will probably not need it) and get in the open and get results. I mean, how hard could it be, men do it right?

Questions or comments? Feel free to leave them in the comments section or you can contact me by email at Shyne@SBGorillas.com.You can also find me on Twitter with the handle name @ShyneIV.