Scattered Thoughts


Let me start out with this thought: whether he’s your boyfriend, friend, or just a first date; if you take him to see Sex In The City 2, you owe him sex in the city. No questions asked. Now on with the show.

With the NBA playoffs in full swing, I haven’t had much of a chance to do this but I decided to take a small break from the NBA to share a few things with the world. Let’s get Eminem to spread a message to all of you on my behalf:
“Hello, allow me to introduce myself
My name is….Shyneeeeee;
It’s so nice to meet you,
It’s been a long time,
I’m sorry I’ve been away so long,
My name is….Shyneeeeee;
I never meant to leave you […]”

So with that, it’s about time that I shared with you some of my observations. Feel free to ask questions or leave feedback in the comments section. You can also email me at Shyne@NBAShouts.com. Without further ado, I give you my Scattered Thoughts….

RELATIONSHIPS, DATING AND GENDER ISSUES

CHEATERS
Whether we agree with it or not, society has decided that a woman’s infidelity is far worse than that of a man’s. I can already here all the women sigh in disbelief, but sadly that’s the perception. Why though?

When a man cheats, he does not necessarily do it because he does not love the woman he is involved with, he does it because of a physical urge that he absolutely needs fulfilled……or so the stereotype goes. Here’s the truth ladies; men cheat because they can and because they think they won’t get caught. Perhaps their insecurities play part in it (quest for attention), but that’s mostly what it boils down to. If you dig deep enough, you will figure out what makes him a cheater.

Women though are a different breed. Don’t get me wrong, some women cheat exactly for the same reasons that men do; but ultimately us men always think a woman can restrain herself and stay true to her companion. Society has wrongfully convinced us that women are individuals that make decisions purely based on emotions. As a result, men tend to look at unfaithful women as people that strayed because they needed a new man in their life to love. Is it fair? Of course not. Men get a  “free pass” while women are seen as a caricature of everything wrong with the modern world.

The world needs to realize that women have opened their eyes and now play the same game that men have been playing for centuries. It’s no longer an emotional adventure when a woman cheats (truth is I can’t say for sure that it was always the case either), women need to get theirs too people. So make sure you’re taking care of your business guys; because if you’re not, chances are your woman is taking care of hers with someone else….

STRENGTH IN NUMBERS
Some people wonder at times why men have this huge fascination with screwing everything that moves and amassing a large number of people they’ve slept with. Well the answer can at times be oh so simple. Quite frankly, some of us measure our value by our amount of conquests. It’s the one sure way that for certain people to get the amount of attention they need. So if you hook up with someone with the hope of something serious, make sure that this someone isn’t looking for strength in numbers…

MESSAGE FOR THE LADIES
Bear with me on this one for a second. Ladies, if you dropped a $100 bill on the floor and some random stranger came by and picked up the money not knowing it was yours and then the two of you met up at a later time and you found out that this person picked up your money; how would you react? If your head is screwed on right, you wouldn’t make a big fuss about it right? It’s not like the person that picked it up knew it was yours, she just found it and put it in her pocket. Well then, why is it that some women are ready to slap, fight and disrespect the innocent lady (by innocent, I mean the mistress that did not know she was the mistress because the guy failed to mention he was committed) that was sleeping with their man?  If she knew the two of you were an item; that’s another story, but if she didn’t, she was played just as badly as you were.

WEDDING SEASON
With the summer fast approaching, it’s wedding season! What this means is that some of you will be rocking your finest gear and walking into wedding receptions and seeing some really ugly people as well as some really hot people. Here’s a little secret for all parties involved: if you don’t play your cards right, you will end up sleeping with an unattractive person.

Don’t believe me? Picture Flavor Flav in a fine Armani suit without the glasses and without the clock hanging from his neck.; not the guy you want to hook up with right? Take a few glasses of wine and champagne, start doing the electric slide with Flavor and then you realize that he has moves and all of a sudden, he’s a cool guy. Take that one extra champagne glass, and now you’re in a hotel room hooking up with a dude named Flavor Flav (by the way, this should not be high on your list of priorities). Let this brief paragraph serve as a warning to you; if you thought he was ugly when you first got to the reception, he will still be ugly by the end of the night.

By the way, in case you’re wondering why I addressed this message to women and not men; it’s because men know this all too well. Many have fallen victim to the trap of hooking up with the ugly girl at the club (let the record show it’s never happened to me), so doing it at a wedding isn’t exactly newsworthy. Hell, some men go to weddings to put an end to their slumps.

WOMEN COMPLAINTS
So a while back, I had asked a few of my female friends what their biggest complaints about men were. I won’t comment on them, but just take note of what they answered; you never know if it might apply to you…

-Nadine from San Diego, California: Men, you know that with some thought and some paying attention it will show you what your women needs......don't be lazy.

-Marisa from New York: Men think that communication isn't important because it could turn in to an argument... Women would love that men speak their mind.

-Amber from East Liverpool, Ohio: I shouldn’t have to schedule time with my boyfriend and I also shouldn’t have to beg him to see his friends.

-Kate from Denver, Colorado: It’s annoying when men start yelling at their wide receivers via Madden like they ACTUALLY play QB in the NFL!!

-Lani from San Diego, California: The emotions that men go through with sports are the same emotions that women go through with men.

-Nadine from San Diego, California: Men can't articulate their feelings but they can tell you if it was a power I or double wing offense

MEN COMPLAINTS
Same exercise but this time with men.

-Carlos from San Diego: When women hide their feelings and get mad at us for not knowing. We’re not mind readers!

-Sean from Arizona: Most annoying about ladies is when they aren’t confident about themselves or when they fish for compliments.

-Nathan from Duval, Florida: One thing is probably when they ask you a question even though they already know the answer just to see what you say.

-Carlos from San Diego: when women try to lose weight, when we all know how fine they look.

-Michael from Detroit, Michigan: Say he's just a friend!           

NOT IN LOVE WITH A STRIPPER
My cousin Philly will be married soon, hence we had his bachelor party this past Saturday. As you have probably guessed by now, we went to a strip club to drink and watch some flesh. For those that know me, they know I have no interest whatsoever in strip joints. You essentially fork over money to watch a woman dance and shake what her momma gave her to some slow jams (my personal favorite is Ginuwine’s Pony: “If you’re horny, let’s do it, ride it, my pony; my saddle’s waiting, come and, jump on it..”). So when I got there, it was all about showing my cousin a good time and drinking a few beers which would invariably make me the comedian of the night.

But then there was a slight change of plans. We got there and Game 3 of the NBA Eastern Conference Finals (Orlando @ Boston) was on. By now, you must know I’m a huge basketball junkie. So I basically spent some time with my cousin, cracked a few jokes and then disappeared into the game.  After a few beers (two), I went to take a leak and when I came back there was a stripper sitting in my seat trying to talk to my friend Steve (fictional names the rest of the way). Stripper girl didn’t budge so Steve slid a seat and I got “stuck” sitting next to the stripper.  She then proceeded to try to chat me up for about an hour; hoping I would ask her to dance for me or something. But the game was still on and I was cracking a few jokes with the guys so I really didn’t display much interest. After a while the game ended and me and her started to talk.

She told me about her ex-boyfriend, the trials and tribulations associated with being a stripper and trying to live a “normal” life. We talked about tattoos (the tat on her back is actually my nickname, I swear I couldn’t make this stuff up; my boy Bobby said it was just meant to be), sports, relationships and the like. I even asked her if strippers had a code to follow and was surprised to hear they didn’t (they get mad if another stripper steals their customers but really, it’s not against their code of “ethics”; riveting stuff right? What would you guys do without my research) and that pretty much they did whatever they felt like doing. But then, the guys decided we should leave and crash a club. So stripper girl asked me for my phone and then put her digits in and told me to call her (just so we’re clear, her number has already been deleted).  An interesting night indeed. This got me to thinking, is there such a thing as the Hooking Up with a Stripper Manual/Guidelines? If not, I think someone needs to come up with it……

JAY-Z: A CLUB OWNER’S DREAM
It had been at least about two years since I hit a club and I did so this past Saturday and you know what I realized? You could literally just play some Jay-Z for an entire night in the club and have people lose their minds on the dance floor. I was standing on the sidelines observing the scene at Tokyo (club in Montreal) when the DJ got me in the middle of the scrum when he dropped Ludacris’ track Move Bitch. At that moment it was official, The Silverback Gorillas were in the building. But then he went on for maybe about 30 minutes playing some of Hova’s best recent tracks. That’s when it hit me, the man is a club track genius. These songs didn’t necessarily play on Saturday night but look at the list of tracks that are club bangers (and that you wouldn’t mind hearing at a club either):
-Fiesta
-Dirt Off Your Shoulders
-Death of Autotunes
- Sunshine
-Encore
-Lucifer
-The Bounce
-On To The Next One
-Off That
-A Star Is Born
-Forever Young
-Public Service Announcement
-Run This Town
-Big Pimpin
-Brooklyn Go Hard
-Hard Knock Life
-Can I Get A…
-Jigga What, Jigga Who
-So Ghetto
-Is That Your Chick
-Song Cry
-The Best of Both Worlds
-Excuse Me Miss
-Diamonds Is Forever
-99 Bproblems
-Lucifer
-She’s Coming Home With Me
-Jockin Jay-Z
-Hey Papi
-Lobster And Shrimp

The Jigga Man knows how to get things moving doesn’t he?

COMIC BOOKS
BATMAN
After reading Batman & Robin issue #12, I was left a bit disappointed. I know a lot of the people that read the issue were amazed about the identity of Sexton but I was left rather unimpressed. Batman R.I.P. was supposed to be the biggest event ever in the history of comic books (that’s how it was advertised), and yet here’s what’s happened:
-Batman finds out he has a son
-We find out that Simon Hurt gained access to Batman’s mind about 20-30 years ago and used what he found to shut down the caped crusader’s mind and also create other Bat-Men.
-Batman created a second split personality within himself to combat any foe that was able to attack his mind (crazy right?).
-The Black Glove brings the Bat family to their knees.
-Batman eventually beats all the mental traps set for him and saves the day only we’re not really sure if he really did.
-Simon Hurt gets away.
-Batman allegedly dies at the hand of Darkseid.
-Dick Grayson takes the mantle of Batman but makes several mistakes that lead us to believe he might be unfit for the role.
-Tim Drake/Robin relinquishes his role as Robin and becomes the Red Robin.
 -Red Robin decides to investigate the death of Bruce Wayne and finds evidence in a cave in Baghdad (complete Transformers 2 rip off, although in the movie it was in Egypt) that Bruce may in fact still be alive.
-Damian Wayne (son of Batman/Bruce Wayne) becomes the new Robin.
-All the members of the Black Glove organization are murdered (except for Simon Hurt).
- Dick Grayson and Damian Wayne resurrect the corpse of Bruce Wayne with the help of a Lazarus Pit but then realize that the person they brought back to life is not Bruce but rather a clone. The real Bruce Wayne was never actually murdered.
-Dick Grayson uncovers clues in Wayne Manor pointing towards the possibility that Bruce might somehow be stuck in the past (real original, I know).
-Simon Hurt reappears, although we’re not exactly sure what he has planned.
-We find out that the Joker is not the maniac we have always thought him to be. Grant Morrison (writer for this story arc) portrays the Joker as this incredibly smart and calculated criminal whose deduction skills rival Batman’s.

That in a nutshell is what I have been reading for the past year. Don’t get me wrong, Morrisson’s story had me on the edge of my seat when Batman’s split personality came out; however the rest of the arc has not yet truly surprised me or left me wondering about the aftershock in the rest of the DC world. When you tout your story as the biggest even in the past 70 years of DC, I tend to expect for something big to actually happen.

Death and ressurection? Been there and done that with Superman. Hell, Conner Kent  (Superboy) died and came back from the dead just recently. Super hero goes missing for a while and leaves the rest of the city hanging? Saw that in the story arc Bruce Wayne Fugitive (one of my favorite stories ever), and when Bane broke Batman’s back. Seriously, if Eminem promised me the best album ever of his career and then just came out with an anthology of all his best songs; wouldn’t you feel robbed? And that’s what I am facing as a reader. I feel as though Morrisson had the right idea but the execution was poor. The part where Batman comes up with a split personality? That’s effin brilliant. The man is so driven to save people that he took all possible precautions to make sure he was never compromised. But then for the enemy to get away and then Batman dies but eventually comes back? I’m not feeling that. The story is not yet over, so there is still the chance that Morrison might pull out a rabbit out of his ass; but I wouldn’t bet on it at this point.

SUPERMAN
While I’m not entirely on board with the Batman issues at the present time, Superman is on another level right now. I’m not sure who borrowed whose story, but Smallville and Superman are essentially running with the same story. The bottled city of Kandor has been freed and now the Kandorians, led by General Zod (total super bad ass as a villain) are ready to wage war on planet Earth. In the Smallville series, the Kandorians lived amongst the humans and tried to take over the planet. However in the Superman comic book, the Kryptonians live on New Krypton.

Superman has spent a year living amongst his fellow Kryptonians trying to study them and prevent the inevitable war between Earth and New Krypton. However, despite all of his sacrifices and interventions, his efforts have not been successful. Lex Luthor was able to infiltrate New Krypton and place a bomb at the heart of the city that destroyed the whole planet. The survivors are for the most part members of the military guild that have already accepted Zod as their savior and leader. Needless to say, Earth is in trouble…..

NBA
*Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert fired Mike Brown because the coach failed to win a title in Cleveland and also because of his playbook. Have a look at it:












*Many of you will think that the Magic simply avoided a sweep on Monday night against the Celtics, but the game seemed like a bit more. Dwight Howard was able to run the floor, catch lobs in traffic, get put backs and finish at the rim off pick and rolls. Basically Dwight got to play his game; which opened up the court for the rest of his teammates. Let’s see if that offense travels to Orlando. If it does, the Magic have a shot at coming back to play in Boston.


Shynepod Rotation
Eminem – Despicable
J. Cole – Losing My Balance
Drake – July
Joe Budden – Better Me
Eminem – Not Afraid
Game ft Lil’ Wayne & Birdman
Gucci Mane ft Ludacris – Atlanta Zoo
Joe Budden - Downfall
J. Cole – Knock On Wood (Freestyle)
Joe Budden ft Royce Da 5’9 - New York, Jersey, Philly
Game ft Fat Joe & Jadakiss – Gangs of NY
Rihanna – Rude Boy
The Dream – Love King
Chris Brown – Perfume
Mariah Carey – Imperfect
Omarion – Speedin’
Trey Songz – Already Taken
Usher – She Seen Me

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