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| Everything looks better with a Lego Death Star. |
With the NBA
officially in an apocalyptic tailspin, I decided to take a break from my
respective gigs at Warriors World
and Forum Blue & Gold to
make my triumphant return over here at the SBG.
Now, some
people predicted that with the absence of the National Basketball Association,
that I would turn over my attention to Major League Baseball, the National
Hockey League or perhaps even NCAA Football, but that’s just not me; instead, I
stuck to my guns and focused even harder on the things that I already liked and
wanted to question. In that sense, I’m like a pimp trying to rededicate himself
to his craft by finding new ways to apply powder to my hands.
Welcome back
ladies and gentlemen to my Scattered
Thoughts.
ENTERTAINMENT
Last week,
Bill Simmons wrote a brilliant career arc piece on Eddie Murphy
that made me quite nostalgic. After reading the article, I came down to one big
conclusion: no artists/entertainers have influenced me more than Michael
Jackson and Eddie Murphy; and really it’s not close. Here’s the breakdown…
Michael
Jackson
One of
Michael Jackson’s greatest accomplishments was his ability to transcend race.
Indeed, fans worldwide did not view him as a black entertainer, but rather as a
man of music that just seemed to appeal to all. But Jacko did not just render
his fans color-blind, he actually turned all of us into cult followers.
Sounds a bit
harsh or perhaps too strong right? Well consider this: how many artists today
could get away with routinely grabbing their crotch and yelling at a lady in a
music video on the street and look completely cool doing it? Sounds weird and
creepy, and yet that’s the premise for the video of The Way You Make Me Feel.
Once Michael
did something, it automatically became socially acceptable. Tight pants that
barely reached the ankles, shiny white socks, crotch-grabbing, dancing on the
tip of your toes and screaming like a girl were all tolerated in the spirit of
emulating Michael Jackson. But the one reason MJ shaped my childhood: he made
me dance.
The King of
Pop was a legend in his own right, and he turned a shy young boy into a kid
willing to put himself out there to sing and dance regardless of whom was
watching. Michael made me and a multitude of other kids around the world jump
on their beds and dance to Smooth
Criminal and attempt to recite lyrics that no one could seemingly
understand. It’s one thing to do that to people in various cities, but to have
that kind of impact across the globe? Unreal.
And here’s
how I know there will never be another Michael Jackson: when MJ would release a
new video (especially in the 1980s); the world would literally stop to sit down
and watch it. You didn’t want to be the one person who missed its first airing
and not be able to discuss it with friends the next day. Name me one artist
today that could do that.
Just to put
things into perspective, here are my five favorite music videos of all time:
1.
Thriller
2.
The Way You Make Me Feel
3.
Beat It
4.
Smooth Criminal
5.
Billie Jean
Yup, my top
five is essentially a Michael Jackson playlist.
Eddie
Murphy
My favorite
movie of all time is Coming to America
(in French mind you) and Beverly Hills
Cop and 48 Hours easily make my
top 20 favorite movies list. But Eddie Murphy converted me into a fan for life
with his classic stand up acts in Delirious
and Raw.
Times might
be different today but a lot of the jokes are still funny to this day no matter
how many times I have watched the performances. For my money, Mr. F*ck You Man
is the funniest man to have ever been involved in showbiz.
Eddie’s
genius as a comedian stems from some of his multiple skills…
·
Voices: he could mimic the voice of just about
any celebrity ranging from Mr. T. to Elvis Presley and even
capture their mannerisms and act like these said celebs. Watch Eddie Murphy act
like Bill Cosby by clicking here.
·
Storytelling: Those of you familiar with Charlie
Murphy’s Hollywood stories on the Chappelle
Show would probably be amazed at
Eddie Murphy’s ability to recount stories in a comical way regardless of
whether they were fictional or not. Have a look at Eddie Murphy act out a story
on an Italian man after seeing the movie Rocky
over here.
·
Real life situations: A lot of times, being a
comedian means taking every day situations and presenting them in a different
perspective that makes people laugh; and Eddie Murphy was able to do so
routinely. Have a look at how Eddie portrays unfaithful women here.
And after
seeing Eddie Murphy perform on stage and in his movies, it was clear to me that
he would be remembered for a long time and that he would probably leave his
mark on many much like Richard Pryor did before him.
TELEVISION & MOVIES
The Three Musketeers
I have yet
to speak with someone who has actually seen the movie; but after following
their story from a very young age, it only made sense for me to go see the
movie. For those unfamiliar with the storyline, it occurs during the 1600s in
France with Louis XIII serving as the nation’s king. His three best “soldiers”
go by the name of the musketeers. These men are master swordsmen and could also
be viewed in a way as the predecessors of Jason Bourne. All three musketeers
come with different skill sets:
·
Athos: Although it’s rarely stated explicitly,
he is the leader of the group. He is a master strategist as well as the one
person willing to discuss matters diplomatically before engaging into battle
because he always has his eyes on the big picture.
·
Aramis: He is the stealth agent that often does
the scouting of the terrain and of the enemies in order to gain a tactical
advantage. He is also highly religious to the point that he prays for his
enemies.
·
Porthos: He is the brute of the group. He is
physically imposing and the strongest one of the trio. He prefers to deal with
opponents by way of hand-to-hand combat in order to demonstrate his strength
and inflict punishment as opposed to simply finishing off his enemies in a
quicker manner by way of his sword.
The trio is
inseparable and also seemingly impossible to defeat. Thus, they take their
orders from the king and do their best to preserve the honor of the country in
the name of their leader. Complicating matters though is the Cardinal Richelieu
who is Louis XIII’s second in command; but who thirsts for the king’s power.
Consequently, he is constantly concocting plots to bring the king to his knees
unbeknownst to the leader of the kingdom.
The
musketeers are well aware of Richelieu’s plans but without concrete proof they
are unable to explain to the king that his minister is in fact a traitor.
Adding to
the intrigue is a teenager by the name of D’Artagnan who leaves the area of
Gascogne to make it to Paris with the hope of joining the ranks of the
musketeers. D’Artagnan is brash, overconfident and at times cocky; but he
believes in his skills and with good reason. He has spent his entire life
training to be one of the king’s fighters, and only wants a chance to prove his
worth.
Upon
arriving in Paris, he realizes that his journey will be a difficult one but
ultimately is able to demonstrate his excellent fighting skills as well as his impressive
swordsmanship as he tries to infiltrate the ranks of the musketeers.
In a
nutshell, that is the story of The Three
Musketeers, but I would strongly recommend watching the movie to see the
multiple twists and turns that come along with defending a kingdom that more
often than not does not realize it is under attack. The musketeers are stealth
agents that protect their nation at all costs and in a very entertaining manner.
The movie captured the true essence of the story all the while making it the
script a little Hollywood-friendly, but without compromising key points of the
adventure.
Allen Gregory
I initially
believed that this new cartoon/sitcom on FOX was essentially a remake of Family Guy, but that would be selling
the show short. Allen Gregory (voice by Jonah Hill) is a youngster (I would
venture and say he is around eight years old) in the same mold of Stewie
Griffin but much older though. He wears suits and speaks with great
intelligence, often belittling the people around him.
What makes
the show so interesting is the things that Allen Gregory desires to have but
cannot. For instance, he wishes the school bully would befriend him but he just
cannot seem to get that to happen. Also, our star has his sights set on the
school principal that is well within her 50s but she declines his every
advance.
These
situations by themselves are not all that interesting; but when you factor in
that Allen Gregory carries the last name DeLongpre (which is synonymous with
power and wealth on the television show) and that his father wants things to go
his son’s way; well that brings a new level of intrigue to the show.
For
instance, after finding out that his son was getting bullied at school, Allen
Gregory’s father (he also happens o be openly gay) demanded that the school
dance changes its format and instead require boys to ask boys to the dance, and
for girls to do the same. The rationale is to put all the chances on his son’s
side to in fact communicate with the school bully and befriend him; a strategy
that obviously backfires.
I recommend
watching the show for comedy’s sake. It’s a different kind of television
cartoon-sitcom that’s good for a few laughs and could potentially keep you
coming back for more.
Two and a Half Men
With Charlie
Sheen gone and Ashton Kutcher now fully integrated in the show; we can finally
answer the one question that everyone has been asking: can the show survive
without Sheen? And the answer is no.
Kutcher
plays the role of Walden Schmidt who is a billionaire idiot trying to reclaim
the love of his wife who has left him. During his grieving (his wife wants
nothing to do with him at this point), he befriends Alan Harper and buys
Charlie’s house. Mind you, Schmidt is an emotional wreck and Alan is there to
see him through tough times and help him bounce back onto his feet.
The scene
becomes all too familiar when Walden goes to a bar with Alan and picks up women
that he promptly brings back to his house for some fun time while Alan realizes
once again he is left out on the sidelines.
There are
two major problems with the new direction of the show:
I. We have been conditioned to expect
the man of the house to be a middle-aged drunk womanizer who just cannot wait
to get rid of his mooching brother. Instead we are now treated to a handsome
young man who manages to almost sleep with women by accident and that actually
loves having the moocher around.
II. Make no mistake, Walden Schmidt is
the star of the show but Alan Harper is slowly becoming the central figure on Two and a Half Men. More often than not,
we are following him throughout his life problems and waiting for Walden to
step in and save the day (whether he does or not). Consequently, every scene
with Kutcher almost seems secondary; as though he is there to just fill up the
missing time left in the episode with his goofy movements and words.
Watching the
show now is the equivalent of watching the Los Angeles Lakers with Manu
Ginobili starting at shooting guard instead of Kobe Bryant. Indeed, the
replacement has talent in his own right and can perform adequately but the team
was not initially built around him and thus the team just is not as good.
Sous le Signe des Mousquetaires
When I was
younger, my cousin and I would religiously watch this show. It’s a Japanese
television series about the Three Musketeers. The show is in French but I would
venture and say that it can be found in English as well. Mind you, if you are
trying to learn or teach French to your kids, this is the perfect opportunity
to do so.
Much like
the movie the The Three Musketeers,
the television show occurs during the 1600s with Louis XIII serving as the king
of France. He is married to Anne of Austria and has the Cardinal of Richelieu
to serve as his minister.
Although the
series does not necessarily rehash actual historical events, it does
nonetheless help its viewers get a greater appreciation of the history of
France and England by presenting actual people that affected the course of
history of these respective countries.
The show may
be for children, but the storylines will captivate adults as well and get them
to want to follow on. Thus, when my friend Karim offered to hook me up with the
whole series; I gladly accepted.
I have been
watching the episodes for the past few weeks and it resulted in getting me a
little more intrigued in the history of France (especially in the identity of
the Man in the Iron Mask) and also in improving my French. Sous le Signes des Mousquetaires uses an old style of French that
is understandable but that will nonetheless improve your vocabulary guaranteed
or your money back.
ShynePhone Rotation
·
Legendary
by Royce Da 5’9
·
Sucka for
Love by DMX
·
Can’t Get
Enough by J. Cole ft Trey Songz
·
You the
Boss by Rick Ross ft. Nicki Minaj
·
The Illest
by Slaughterhouse
·
Why Would
I by Joe Budden
·
2011 BET
Cypher by Eminem ft Yelawolf & Slaughterhouse
·
The Real
Her by Drake ft. Lil’ Wayne & Andre 3000
·
I’ll Do
Anything by Ginuwine
·
Same Ol’ G
by Ginuwine
·
Ex-Girlfriend
by R. Kelly
·
Sure Thing
by Miguel
·
Shit God
Damn by Chris Brown ft. Big Sean
·
Damien
by DMX
·
Buckingham
Palace by Canibus
Questions or comments? Feel free to leave
them in the comments section or you can contact me by email at Shyne@SBGorillas.com.You
can also find me on Twitter with the handle name @ShyneIV.
