Dangerous to Catch Feelings: Ask Budden




Whether they chose to admit or not, every now and then men catch feelings. It could be with the right or wrong woman, but it happens. It’s just a natural part of life. Where things get interesting is how men react to this notion when it does in fact occur.
On the track I Messed Up by Emanny and Joe Budden, both of them tackle one of the many reactions that men may face when confronted with the situation. The song isn’t new, but after listening to it earlier today, I figured it was well worth sharing for those still in the dark about the track.
On the first verse, Emanny starts off the song directly putting us into his state of mind:
“This isn’t what it’s supposed to be,
I went from having fun to having fantasies...”
The singer then goes on to explain the agreement that most men try to set up with their would-be conquests: friendship, no commitment, mutual back scratching not actually involving backs and so forth. That’s how the situation was initially set up, but he is now unable to just leave it at that. The playa rules are now being thrown out the door.
His cell phone is off -- a sign that he may want to be cut off from society while with her, which is, you know, kind of serious -- and he no longer leaves immediately after the business. Instead, he remains in bed and falls asleep even though in certain cases, that is a breach of the Booty Call Guidelines (you can thank me later if that was your first time ever seeing the link).
That’s when it hits our artist and that he utters the words for the first time:
“I messed up.”
Which is usually code for, he’s in love.
By the second verse, things escalate to another level as Emanny tries to convince himself that he does not have feelings for this woman, but he realizes that he is merely lying to himself. He is in too deep and does not foresee any way of getting out.
It’s gotten to the point that he is now bypassing protection during intercourse and enjoying the way things are going although he still wants to get out. This idea that he could get so close to someone is foreign and seemingly counterproductive.
The macho side of men can’t fathom the idea that they could potentially want to spend so much time with one person at the expense of everybody else when they are the ones who usually set the boundaries and made it abundantly clear that no feelings should ever develop under any circumstances.
Hence, Emanny reminds us again:
“I messed up.”
Joe Budden comes in on the third verse and takes the situation to another level.
Most men hate to admit it, but they typically have a bench player that they occasionally see to blow off some steam. The reason she’s characterized as a bench player is because she’s not good enough, pretty enough, sexy enough or emotionally stable enough for dudes to accept being seen in public with -- don’t shoot the messenger on this one -- her.
And this dynamic gets revealed when Joe explains that he has caught feelings for a woman that he would essentially tell his friends is several levels beneath him. In this instance, Jump Off Joey isn’t necessarily making this statement based on her physical appearance, but rather because she has been around the proverbial block on more than one occasion. Budden rehashes the lessons learned from Snoop Dogg’s Doggystyle album as well as Dr. Dre’s Chronic 2001 album but adds in some advice of his own:
“Was taught that you can’t tame a hoe,
But if you should try it and get denied,
You shouldn’t blame a hoe,
Because that’s the only game she know…”
And just like that, it becomes apparent that he is at crossroads and unsure of what decision to make at this juncture. On the one hand, he truly has feelings for her and wants to be with her, but on the other there is the fear that she may not be on the same level emotionally and also that she could be seeing other men, coupled with the fact that he is well aware that he would become the laughingstock of his friends should this news break out.
Although the song ends without any resolution in sight, the New Jersey rapper still leaves us with a glimpse of where he is leaning as he concludes by saying:
“Honestly, she might be the best mistake I ever made.”

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