Scattered Thoughts: The Road Trip Edition




Coming to you live from an undisclosed location, where entertainment and people acting a fool happens, it’s the road trip edition of my Scattered Thoughts. Seriously, for whatever reason, people not only have an easier time behaving badly away from home, but people are far more tolerant of outsiders than they are of their own local peeps.
With that said, let’s get it crackin’
Boogie Nights
So while on this ever-infamous road trip, my squad and I hit up this spot where the music was awesome and the house was packed. Mind you, unbeknownst to us all, there were some male dancers in the house. Let me make it clear, not male strippers, but rather dancers.
In case you’re wondering, the difference is dancers keep their pants on.
With that said, as disgusted as we all were about the fact that there were dudes showing off their torsos on stage, the night took a different twist when they brought women on stage and decided to get freaky.
Really freaky.
The three dudes put ice cream on their chests and had women lick it off and then kissed them. In addition, they jumped down to the dance floor, grabbed some women and kissed them up as well. Making matters infinitely more entertaining, they groped the women on stage, pressed up on them and had them lying on their backs while their skirts rolled up their legs and exposed, well you know, their stuff.
These dudes couldn’t dance for a lick, but boy did they give us a good laugh as they exposed most of the women in attendance as being extremely easy.
They were all ready to get down and dirty on stage and only stopped because well the dudes stopped themselves. I’m talking about five to 10 women here; with the rest of them begging to get picked for a chance to press up on the dancers.
Being the mischievous person that I am, I quickly took snapshots of the debauchery but by night’s end it was brought to my attention that the dudes were actually from Montreal. Consequently, I had to stash away the “evidence” because of the hometown code: thou shall not snitch on a dude from home. Or three (fun fact: one of them looked exactly like Kendrick Perkins).
A little fun nugget though: for all of their bravado on stage, these dancers stripped a better game than they actually played. Indeed, I know for a fact -- don’t ask me how I know this, I just do -- that they didn’t get any action on this said night.
Perhaps that’s exactly what they wanted though…
Road Superstars
The weird thing about hitting up a spot on the road is that for whatever reason people spot outsiders extremely quickly. Seriously, the moment we made it into the joint, all the men in attendance gave us the “look at them out of town boys” look. We copped a few drinks, recited a few songs and got busy on the dance floor and then just like that we had earned their respect.
We were all treated to respect head nods, daps, fist bumps and raised glasses as a sign that they acknowledged us and weren’t trying to hate. I believe this is the moment they decided they would allow us to hang with their local chicks if we wanted; a moment that never truly came.
But it was fun.
Heck, by night’s end, we were outside the establishment performing Juicy J’s Bands A Make Her Dance with these two dudes breaking out in what I would generously qualify as a freestyle about what they wanted to do to the women passing by. And well, let’s just say they didn’t have the purest of intentions if you catch my drift.
The Single Life
Far be it for to me to suggest that every woman feels as such, but most of the ones that I know seem to despise the idea of being single. The idea of waking up alone, not having someone to regularly hug or cuddle seems to be problematic for them and thus they want to have someone in their lives to fulfill those needs. Mind you, the guy that adheres to such requests isn’t exactly the dude that’s just a casual fling; this is more of a series of events that must be executed with people with whom a bond has been formed and feelings are present.
And yet, because some people just have the ultimate need to get any type of affection possible, they attempt to get men who aren’t all that invested to do these things and it eventually backfires.
It’s a tricky thing because men who do not want to get invested will try to stay away from anything that could potentially look like a form of investment or settling down with one particular person. Indeed, the male species has slowly but surely realized that allowing certain actions or patterns of behavior from the women they are seeing is an open invitation for them to think the relationship is more serious than what it is.
As a rule thumb, the advice I give my male friends is to look at whatever rapport they have with a woman and understand that it will project to be as such give or take a few details for the remainder of their lives.
Why take this approach?
It’s easy to get yourself caught up in emotions and feelings with the absolutely worst person possible if you don’t look at how compatible you are. For instance, a person that despises or is simply incapable of providing any reassurance whatsoever might in fact not be the perfect mate for an incredibly insecure person. The personality traits might cause these two individuals to simply consistently have friction towards one another.
Thus, sometimes it’s better to be single and have peace of mind as opposed to being involved and miserable.
Just some food for thought.
Joe Budden: A Loose Quarter
I have multiple pleasures in life, and listening to Joe Budden’s music is one of my favorite ones. His production occasionally leaves much to be desired, but his level of introspection on his tracks combined with his gift for storytelling and fondness for being open to his audience make him one of the best lyricists in the game despite the lack of acclaim. All these facts make what I’m about to say infinitely more hurtful: Joe is the real life version of Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother.
A Loose Quarter paints the picture of a man that has overcome his struggles with drugs, depression, record labels, his father and his former lover to finally reach the happy place he needed and wanted for himself.
A lot of times, when people finally turn the corner and embrace their lives to be the best person they can be, it can be attributed to their love interest. Indeed, love can make you do funny things, like wanting to be the best possible human being, and that’s exactly where Joe is at on this mixtape.
Jump Off Joe announces to the world that his new love Kaylin has not only captured his heart, but made it completely whole again as she saved his life in his words. He sees her appearance into his life not only as a message from God, but as fate.
Thus, when Joey raps about his conversation with his mother on Momma Said about various issues that are dear to him, he quickly goes on to mention how his mother is somewhat concerned about his relationship with Kaylin given her young age; but he quickly vouches for his lady friend and makes it clear that she is here to stay.
In addition, he pops off on his former love Tahiry (first rapped about their break up on Downfall) on Off 2 the Races by explaining that she left him depressed and suicidal but that he’s now in a much better and happier place thanks to the new woman in his life. As much as he wants to remain cordial and possibly have a friendly relationship with his ex, it seems that it’s not possible given her lingering feelings for the Jersey rapper. Make no mistake though, Budden makes it clear that his intentions with his old flame are purely platonic and that his new girl understands this and is perfectly fine with it.
Lastly, on More of Me, Joe Budden explains how he and Kaylin met and how their relationship grew to the point where it is today; the way she made him feel as well as the way she makes him feel today. It’s the ever-odd ghetto love story if you will and Joe gives it his twist as he explains how his life was slowly decomposing into pieces before Kay came into the fold to rescue him.
The mixtape has some other solid joints as well but the ones mentioned above paint the picture of a calmer, more mature and more relaxed rapper that seems keen on enjoying his life.
But I can’t help but shake the feeling that his multiple relationships over the past few years have rendered him a slave of love, just waiting after every break up to be rescued by the woman that will take up the new spot and make him feel whole for the duration of their relationship. That in itself is what is reminiscent of Ted Mosby; an apparent inability to accept reality and instead constantly be caught dreaming about the woman that will come to sweep him off his feet.
The irony of course is that Ted Mosy himself annoys me, but Jump Off Joey’s Mosby-like dilemma entertains me.
Go figure.
ShynePhone Rotation
Juicy J – Bands A Make her Dance
Rick Ross ft. Drake – Us (Remix)
T.I. – Clique
Crooked I – The Other Side (Freestyle)
Shawty Lo – Dey Know
50 Cent ft. Too Short – First Date
Kendrick Lamar – Poetic Justice
Juelz Santana ft. Chris Brown – Back to the Crib
Rampin Shop – Vybz Kartel ft Spice
Movado – Neva Believe You
Brandy ft. Chris Brown – Put It Down
Miguel – Adorn
Rick Ross ft. Drake & Wale – Diced Pineapples
Meek Mill – Lean Wit It
French Montana ft. Rick Ross, Drake & Lil Wayne – Pop That
Questions or comments? Feel free to leave them in the comments section or you can contact me by email at Shyne@SBGorillas.com.

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