Exiting the Dating Game...




Dating is a cutthroat sport.
Seriously.
Peoples feelings often get hurt and at times lines get crossed as individuals put their needs before those of others and it leads to complicated situations like a dude dating two women that are friends or a woman dating a group of guys that play on the same basketball team. To some, this might sound completely ludicrous, whereas to others it may just be par for the course.
But at some point in time, every individual reaches somewhat of a breaking point: the dating game leaves them completely broken.
This isn’t to say that their emotions are damaged beyond repair, but rather that the exercise of repeatedly meeting new people and seeing how the situation unfolds can lead a person towards thinking that there just isn’t any hope left for a decent mate.
True story.
Some people are flat out crazy, others are seemingly ignorant, another portion might want you to marry them midway through the first date, some might present the aptitude for domestic violence while others might be dangerously jealous and so the list goes on.
But then, there’s the rational segment of society that we encounter in the game of dating that have different agendas and/or different needs depending on the moment we meet them.
Indeed, you might encounter a person on the first of the month and enjoy their company and progressively get to know them only to realize two weeks later that what they stated they initially wanted is no longer the case. What was supposed to be a “trial period” to get to know one another might easily become a situation where the person tells you they are looking for something that is going to last forever and the last two weeks are hardly indicative of anything resembling that.
That’s just the nature of dating.
One person might be developing a heightened sense of interest while the other one could be losing whatever little investment they initially had.
And for some, the constant repetition of this can create a plethora of reactions that lead us to an entirely different path.
For instance, the woman you’ve been courting for the past few days/weeks, you might start to sense the exact moment her interest level drops or rationalize its development despite the fact she never actually lost interest.
Or another example of the effects of the dating game occurred two weeks ago on How I Met Your Mother, when certified super player Barney Stinson essentially gave up on chasing his type of women and instead started from scratch with a full figured woman with the actual intent of getting to know her and understanding what it takes to actually be with someone.
Doesn’t matter who you are, at some point the Game itself will make you question yourself as well as those around you.
Can you continue to head down the path you’ve repeatedly chosen and failed with, or is it time to try something new?
Sometimes, something new might just be looking someone into their eyes and seeing their soul for the very first time as opposed to seeing their body.
Nonetheless, exiting the dating game can do wonders for a person; as they learn things about people they never anticipated finding out.
As a society, especially in the western civilization, we’ve grown accustomed to having and wanting more. But sometimes putting everything else on pause and focusing on the one good thing or one good person can open up an entirely different world right before our eyes.
If that happens to you, maybe you just found the right person to keep you out of the game for good.
Or maybe you just found the one that will keep you in it forever…
Questions or comments? Feel free to leave them in the comments section or you can contact me by email at Shyne@SBGorillas.com.

2 Comments:

J.A.H. said...

See, I've been meaning to articulate something very similar for a while. I wouldn't say dating has broken me, but I would say my patience with it has run out. There are two statements that sum this up in a nutshell for me:

1) My life is ruled by such things as logic and probability.

I have to see a point or a reason to do everything. There has to be some thought process behind every action I take. We all know that love is nothing if not irrational, but beyond that: why waste time looking for something that has no interest in finding me? I'm not 6 feet tall. I don't make six figures. I may as well close up shop right there. Add in the fact that my life has been relatively stress-free in the four years since my last relationship - other than dating situations - and it makes no sense to go back to that.

2) I'm a hard person to date.

I freely admit this. Main reason I'm so hard to date is that I have an infinitesimally small pool from which to date. I have very few preferences, but the ones I have eliminate almost everyone and I refuse to back off any of them (being an adult and understanding the ramifications of those preferences, I feel no obligation to do so). I tried easing up, but those situations failed miserably. Lesson learned.

So, I'm out of the game. The possibility of me finding someone in such a small pool who actually likes my short, skinny self? I just see a Venn Diagram that closely resembles the number 8 - too closely to take the chance.

Anonymous said...

Sometimes, we are just afraid as human beings to open up and allow someone into our lives, although the feeling of being loved is what we crave the most. And even though it's right before our eyes, and reaching out to us in a million and one ways, our fear of being hurt still takes over and gets the best of us.

I enjoyed very much so reading your blog. Please, keep them coming.

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