And that’s when the infamous phrase gets dropped: “I hate being single”.
I’ve received several inquiries in the past few months from women that wondered whether something was wrong with them. In most cases, they had been in long lasting relationships prior and were now finding the coping process of being alone quite vexing.
Whether it’s the lack of warmth in the bedroom, the inability to garner cuddles or simply the disdain for entertaining emotionless sexual relations, the single life just isn’t for everybody.
Mind you, things got dicey when I dug deeper beneath the surface in search of comprehending the realities that some of these women were dealing with. Boy was I in for a shock.
One of them was involved in a semi-relationship with a man she saw once a week. In her eyes, because he was a weekly subscription of sorts, that gave her the latitude to sleep with other men despite the fact that her “main guy” was under the impression they were in a monogamous union. Seems like someone should portray her if ever there’s a sequel to Think Like a Man.
According to her, this gentleman was providing her with everything she desired except his daily presence because he lived out of town. That gave her a license to not only get some, but complain about being single.
The next one that solicited my advice had a man within her sights. It seemed as though he was quite the catch based on her description of him. He was respectful, docile and displayed a fair amount of intelligence. They had never been on a date or what not, but the potential was certainly there.
There was however one small problem: she was intimidated by him.
She had never dealt with a man like him before and that scared her. Her admission only came at the end of a lengthy conversation and it was clear that the whole thing was nerve-racking for her. When faced with opportunities for dates with the dude, she made up excuses out of fear. She was afraid that his standards might exceed what she brought to the table.
Eventually, the man moved on. After making multiple efforts with the hope of enjoying her company, he more than likely felt as though she wasn’t interested in him.
It’s an interesting dynamic in this respect: the lady was hoping to obtain some type of comfort and reassurance from a man with no clue that she needed it. In the same breath, this hombre needed for his level of interest to feel reciprocated but it wasn’t.
Two people looking for exactly the same thing from one another but incapable of realizing it.
In a very odd way, sometimes that’s what being single is about as evidenced by both previous illustrations.
It can in fact be a less than ideal scenario whereby an individual has no one to love or share their life with. But there’s also the other side of the coin. Sometimes women have that one guy they know could be their potential mate; however they do not allow things to organically develop in such a manner.
Whether it’s the fear of rejection or the inability to completely trust that specific individual, they deal with a multitude of roadblocks when faced with a chance at love.
Ah but jumping into something with someone is difficult. Hollering “I hate being single” is far easier.
Focusing on all these issues helps keeping one from being tied down, and rationalizing their merits can be dangerous given that it legitimizes inactivity.
Perhaps the operative term many should be using is “I hate my choices…”
Questions or comments? Feel free to leave them in the comments section or you can contact me by email at Shyne@Sbgorillas.com.