Putting Out on the First Date...


The topic of having sex on the first date is an incredibly popular one given the perceived ramifications involved for women.
There is a common misconception amongst the fairer sex that “giving it up” on the first night out turns the man away.  It is said that the thrill of the chase is what keeps men coming back and wanting more.
Although that applies in some situations, it’s far from a universal truth. Although some males may in fact think less of women for engaging in coital activity off the bat, studies show these men are in the minority.
The famed magazine Cosmopolitan polled almost 1,000 18-to-35-year-olds on the topic in its August 2013 issue and the results spoke for themselves:
Guys, do you think less of a woman who has sex on first date?
Yes 32.8 %
No 67.2%
Basically, a third of men share negative feelings about women that have sex on the first date. The rest of them are perfectly fine with it and do not have any objections whatsoever.
And yet, women are under the impression that the opposite is true. Cosmopolitan also polled females and here are the results:
Ladies, do you think most men think less of a woman who has sex on first date?
Yes 82.6%
No 17.4%
There is clearly a disconnect here. One can only assume that women strongly share this belief because of the fallout from their experiences. Several of them end up never hearing from the gentlemen ever again after the act or they stay in contact but offer numerous excuses pertaining to their inability to meet again for another date or what have you.
Some women believe that the fleeing party has opted to do so because he obtained what he desired without truly having to work for it and thus loses interests. There is some legitimacy to that line of thinking given that some men sleep around for sport.
However, there are a multitude of factors that potentially affect a man’s disappearance.  For instance, there may have been a lack of spark from his standpoint or simply a lack of attraction. Indeed, believe it or not, some guys will still put out even if they are not attracted to a woman.
The first date might still result in coitus, but he will run out after the fact because well, he’s just not that into you.
And then there are a host of other potential red flags that could result in a one-and-done scenario:
  • ·      Might have a girlfriend (burn!)
  • ·      He might think you’re crazy
  • ·      Juggling numerous conquests
  • ·      Realization you have common acquaintances (do not discount this one)
  • ·      Horrible sex
  • ·      Awful timing (breakup, emotionally fragile, etc…)
Those are just a few reasons but there are many more. This is not meant to discourage women from having sexual encounters on the first date, but rather an attempt at explaining the reasons for some of the pitfalls they encounter.
Many engage in the act and truthfully, there is nothing wrong with it. With that said, one’s personal convictions are extremely important. Hence, this is not meant in any way, shape or form to encourage those that frown on this occurrence to change their stance.
Self-worth is judged and interpreted by our own individual core values. Thus, it’s up to you to determine whether or not sex on the first night is something that interests you. Just know that for most part, men won’t think any less of you for agreeing to do it.

Questions or comments? Feel free to drop me a line at Shyne@SBGorillas.com.

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